I am going to try to write this post the best I can to only give my grandmother justice.
11 years ago I lost my grandmother. She was everything in my world and when she passed I felt that I too had died with her.
I remember so many memories of her and not any of them I would even call bad. One of the earliest I have of her is when I started calling her 'Grandma'. She immediately stopped me from calling her that name and told me that she was too young to even be a grandmother and that from then on I would call her by her name, Annie. From that moment, she was my Annie. I remember playing Hopscotch and Jump Rope and singing over and over again "Annie, my Annie".
She would always be honest and upfront with me about life. I knew I could always trust her and ask her anything because she wanted me to know the truth. I remember being shocked and blushing when she told me what the word "b!tch" meant, yea! I know! My grandmother!! At 13 my mom and I went with her and my grandfather to Mexico for a wedding and I had the worst allergies and a little bit of a headache, and my own grandmother peer pressured me to take a shot of Tequila to make the 'pain' go away.
I know I am throwing some crazy things out there about her that would make you think twice of what kind of role model she was for me, but don't you worry. She was the best role model I could ever ask for. The best part about her was when I was getting to an age where I wasn't agreeing with my mother about everything. I remember Annie pulling me aside and explaining to me that the only reason I don't get along with my mom a lot was because my mom and I are very much alike. And there would be a time in my life where she would be my best friend, all I had to do was smile and step down, not win ever battle and sooner than later my mom and I would start getting along a lot better. That has to have been the best advice I have ever had and I took her advice and used it well. But unfortunately, my Annie passed away before I was done asking her the rest of the questions I had about life. It broke my heart, and sometimes to this day I can't help but cry because I miss her too much. I remember her telling me when her Lord was ready to take her that she didn't want me to cry because she would be in Heaven, and she would finally be able to walk, see and hang out with all of her friends and have a great party. I have tried so hard to keep that promise to her, but I know she understands that everyone needs a little cry once in a while.
So much has gone on in my life since she left and when I had my Quinceanera, she was there. When I graduated, she was there. When I went through my lessons, and learned from them she was always there. When I got married I knew she was there. And every single day she has been there for me. I talk to her everyday, and I know that she isn't vocally talking back but she is still there in my life. I know she is giving me a hug when I need it, and some encouragement or strength when I really need it.
Sometimes I wish I just had 10 minutes with her right now, just to hug her and talk to her, but if I had that then I would want 10 minutes more. And I all I have to remember is that she is already here with me and nothing will ever change that. I have to remind myself that I had an amazing relationship with her, one that no one else can ever know about, but us. And it is just a sweet little memory that I will have for ever. And after all she is the one that taught me that the future's not ours to see.
Que Sera, Sera.
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