Easy Living

How great would life be if it was easy? It’s hard for me to imagine life being that absolute perfect, but I’m sure if I tried really hard I would be able to come up with an easy life. But it’s the hardships that I enjoy, not because I am a masochist but because it’s the lessons that I learn from those hardships. It’s up to you to make what you want of it, and if you have a strong partner and you strive to make it better, your relationship will become stronger. But it’s the easy that I find boring. Yes, it would be great to have perfect weather, perfect relationships and all around perfect life, but then how would you know when it is good or bad?

Even though I appreciate the hardships doesn’t mean that I handle them well. It’s actually the opposite, sometimes since I have such a thick head it takes a while for some things to sink in, but when they do I feel like a wiser version of my previous self. For some reason everything just falls into place. And then everything is ok, but it’s that little moment of me in full confusion that I never know what to do with myself. I am able to experience a range of emotions, and I am grateful since I think some people walk around this world empty and have no idea what certain emotions feel like. But my emotions are strong, what can I say? I’m a Cancer. I feel every single emotion to my core and it can shake my world. A little earthquake at my center sends tremors through my body. Certain tremors hit faster than others, but there is no denying I feel that emotion. The most interesting part of me feeling emotions is my interactions with others.

I remember being a little girl and having such a horrifying dream that my grandparents had died in a very brutal way. I woke up screaming and crying. My mother didn’t really know how to handle me, and after holding me for what probably was half an hour, she finally called her parents at 1 am to have them tell me their selves they were in fact alive. I remember that calming me down and as well a sleeping pill to assist me in going back to sleep. But those are my emotions. I hold them under control for so long that when one hits and it’s too big for me to control there are time when I need assistance.

And this reason alone is what makes me understand why God created companions. It wasn’t just for a social reason but for surviving. There are some people in this world that would probably die without companions around. And I am not talking about ‘acquaintances’; I’m talking about family and friends. I don’t know what I would have done without my husband during some tough times I have gone through. Or my mother, she’s the main reason I have been able to make it this far in my personal rat race. My dad showed me ultimate love and the knowledge that there are good people out in this world, whether you trust them or not. My Annie, taught me to know that there are certain things that come with being a woman and to always hold my head up high. My Ma showed me the importance of being a lady in today’s world. My Papa showed me to not be afraid to show my feelings and to be strong. And all of my close friends for reminded me it’s always okay to show that I am not perfect.

I love that I have my own tribe that continues to help raise me into being the person I want to be. But it is also myself that has helped me in my coming of age and of who I want to be. It’s only me that can stand in my way. It’s only me that can keep me down in the mud. It’s only me that can keep me from soaring. And it’s only me that keeps my world from becoming too easy. And some might think I am crazy for allowing the hardships through, but I don’t care. I like having a variance to understand my life at it’s fullest.